Assess your listening skills by taking this quick quiz. Read the question and then click the circle in the box under:
| Questions | Strongly Agree | Agree | Disagree | Strongly Disagree |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. II usually know what someone is going to say before they say it | ||||
| 2. I'm always concentrating on what to say in reply to someone |
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| 3. It’s more important to listen to what people say than the way they say it |
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| 4. I enjoy listening to other people talking | ||||
| 5. I am perceptive | ||||
| 6. I have strong opinions on most subjects | ||||
| 7. I am confident about maintaining eye contact with people who are speaking |
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| 8. I try to make everyone feel valued | ||||
| 9. I try not to see things from my own point of view | ||||
| 10. I smile a lot | ||||
| 11. I find listening to others boring | ||||
| 12. I like to hear myself speaking | ||||
| 13. I usually have interesting things to say | ||||
| 14. I find people interesting | ||||
| 15. I know how to make people feel valued | ||||
| 16. If I don't understand something, I check with the speaker | ||||
| 17. I ask questions which encourage people to give full answers |
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| 18. I know how to close a conversation down politely | ||||
| 19. I try not to judge people | ||||
| 20. I concentrate on thinking of follow up questions | ||||
| 21. I make mental notes when people speak | ||||
| 22. I make written notes when people speak | ||||
| 23. I can quickly identify the key points people are trying to make |
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| 24. I can discipline myself to 'appear' interested | ||||
| 25. If I don't interrupt people I forget what I was going to say |
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| 26. I can keep my attention focused on the speaker | ||||
| 27. I am patient | ||||
| 28. I usually have lots to say on most issues | ||||
| 29. I am confident and articulate | ||||
| 30. I find it difficult to wait for people to finish speaking before putting my thoughts forward |
Your score suggests you are a good listener, so well done! You understand the importance of other people’s opinions and try to see things from other points of view.
Good listeners make the person they are talking to feel valued. They are proactive, and can use non-verbal communication and body language to positively reinforce that they are listening.
Good listeners use a variety of verbal cues. Going back to topics that have been raised earlier, asking for clarification, asking open questions that allow for full and detailed responses, are all good ways of helping others feel they are being listened to.
Remember though, it is very difficult not to be influenced by your own experiences and values. Try to keep a ‘metaphorical mirror’ in front of you all the time to see how you are behaving. Good listeners are self reflecting. Ask yourself all the time, how did I come over in that interaction? Did I handle that situation well? How could I have done it better?
Your score suggests that you some understanding of the factors that affect the listening process and show that you appreciate how your own body language and verbal responses influence interpersonal communication.
Try and develop your active listening skills. Think about the kinds of questions you can ask someone that shows you aren’t just jumping to conclusions and have heard what they are saying. People want to feel that they are being taken seriously and that their thoughts and opinions are being taken into account, so concentrate on techniques that show you have empathy. These include positive reinforcement, nodding, smiling, using body language to communicate openness and a friendly manner.
Your score suggests you don’t find listening easy, but you can improve your skills if you want to. Try to concentrate on what other people are saying and think about the impact that negative body language can have. If you give the impression you don’t care what people are saying, they won’t feel valued. Perhaps you don’t care! You may be using these techniques as a way of trying to end a conversation, but there is a technique to closing a conversation effectively without making others feel de-valued.
Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. How self aware are you? Do you understand the barriers that your own thoughts and feelings can create, perhaps when you are irritated by someone, or if you want to get away to do something else?
Think about what you want to get out of a situation; how do you want it to be resolved and ask yourself how could you do it better?
